a New way to unwind: finding peace through thought control.
This section is a home for me to drop unperfected writings from my thought box database (notion) or my journal. Spelling errors, unfinished sentences, colorful language, incomplete thoughts and other unsightly “errors” have high probabilities of appearing in these pages, nevertheless I believe they hold value.
I love you all…. Stay Mindful.
kd
taking control of you thoughts is pivotal in shaping your radical life.
THE NEED TO UNWIND
The need to unwind, comes from this pervasive feeling that we are all wound up in the first place. As if our daily activities were such a mental burden and stress provoker that we simply can’t cope with it any longer.
but..
What makes a stressful day anyway?
Was it really that stressful… Or do you just perceive it as such because you’ve gotten so used to saying “today was stressful” almost out of habit, forgetting what is actually difficult. Did someone just cut you off in traffic and you let that negative energy carry with you through your entire day, allowing that energy to manifest more seemingly negative things? Perhaps you’re mentally ill-prepared to deal with the slightest inconvenience, either because you don’t seek discomfort voluntarily, or because you struggle to maintain a grasp on what matters (hint, it’s not much) and spilling your morning cup of joe automatically puts you in ‘stressful day’ mode..
How often is a day actually overbearing…. to the point where you need to self medicate via mental numbification*? Every bad day, is made that way by perception, because you perceive it to be ‘the worst’ it becomes a self actualizing trauma. You focus on the negative thereby creating your own living hell by the anticipation of something bad happening or viewing a situation as far worse that it really is. This is, in zen philosophy The Second Arrow. (The first arrow is the event itself, the second arrow, which causes much more suffering, is our perception of how bad that first arrow sucks)
But.. It is fair to say that even if you have a completely wonderful day, you might still want to decompress. Which is all good, and healthy. We should decompress on the daily as that will keep us mentally fresh, positive, and non-reactive. As long as we unwind the right way.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s discuss actually unwinding.
It’s become all to common to use modern conveniences, and easy access to limitless brain numbing entertainment to unwind from a stressful day… some use television, movies, social media, etc.. some use substances (alcohol, weed, prescription drugs, etc) what is it that you use? make a list of your daily habits that you use to escape from negative thoughts or an overwhelmed mind
How I distract myself from intrusive, unpleasant or overwhelming thoughts is…
ESCAPing THOUGHTs
This is where it gets troubling. so many of us are using substances; whether they be virtual or chemical to “escape thought” because we straight up don’t know how to handle them ourselves, (at least not in a healthy way).
And so our thoughts become burdens.
If we sit alone for 30 minutes without a mental pacifier we get bored… agitated. Because of this, the need to unwind has become synonymous with mentally “checking out”
but…. LIFE IS OUT THERE! HAPPENING. EVERY SECOND
We are living in a world full of magic, and abundance, and radical possibilities and legit UNLIMITED POTENTIAL…
And we get bored with it when we aren’t feeding ourselves with this escapism.. The escape that is checking out.
It… breaks my heart. to think how little we sometimes we appreciate this gift we call life that we have to distract ourselves from it so often, instead of immersing ourselves into it with complete trust that everything is as it should be and that everything is here for us.
We’ve become so plugged in that many of us have lost the ability to “unplug” as it were, and when we do it feels uncomfortable. We count down the seconds till we can plug bag in. How lost do you feel if you go to the bathroom without your phone? for example..
The inability to do ordinary daily tasks without distracting ourselves not only demolishes our ability to focus, but it crafts an environment in which we allow our life to pass us by at rapid rates completely unaware of our own existence.
THERE IS A WAY OUT, and it’s in.
I am going to give you a list of new ways to unwind your mind. Ways that increase your awareness, your ability to focus, and keep you in the moment- All while still providing a way to quiet the mind.
At first these following options will seem.. boring, uncomfortable, dull, and tedious- because you aren’t used to them.
Understand that this is just a perception.
A perception that you are allowed to break whenever you would like. These activities can be as equally (or more) fulfilling than the most radical life experience
Meditate (might I recommend Insight Timer, or heading over to my Meditation page)
Journal
Go for a Walk with some ambient music (Here, I will link you to one of my favorite playlists for this purpose Cloud Gazing)
Create without constraint. (free creation, like drawing, painting, writing a steady stream of consciousness)
Instead of finding a way to escape your thoughts, and check out, check in. Learn what they are telling you about yourself. Are they largely negative? largely positive? What do they desire, what do they fear, what do they want to create, how much control do you have over them
Instead of escaping your thoughts you must become the master of your thoughts.
Instead of seeking mental stimulation from an outside source so you don’t have to deal with what’s going on upstairs. Seek mental clarity by sorting through all the mental luggage you been carrying around unchecked.
It’s intimidating. I know.. and it can be scary and it can feel uncomfortable and the sheer amount of UNLIMITED POTENTIAL that you have (in a good way) can be overwhelming.
BUT here is a vital truth to remember that will allow you to give yourself some much needed self compassion as you journey down the road of self awareness.
You are not your thoughts. If you sit quietly enough, and observe where your thoughts come from you will begin to realize that they simply come into existence without your assistance. This is why you will have moments that make you go “Why the hell… did that thought just cross my mind?”
Well, because at large, you aren’t in charge of the creation of your thoughts. Look deep enough into the origin of a thought and you see that it simply comes to exist. You don’t deliberately craft thought. The more you watch them, and see how random they may seem or how connected to your external inputs they are, you will begin to accept that the thoughts are more or less happening to you. . They simply spring into existence, bubbling up from beneath the surface of an intangible substrate.
Since our thoughts literally shape our existence, it becomes vital to learn to craft thoughts that fit the life you want to manifest, but thats another topic for another day, one which requires diving into the quantum realm, or as some might prefer- The Spirit World. Where everything exists as a potentiality. Not yet collapsed in wave function, and ready to be claimed by those who know how to harness it.
I AM WITH YOU.
I understand that it can be a challenge to forge in uncharted territory. I also know how tempting it is to run away from intrusive thoughts or to want to “unwind” be chemically intoxicating (that includes the dopamine you get from doom scrolling social media)
I know that it seems 10x easier to just be complacent. I understand this so well because I still have to have to fight with it all the time. I know that sometimes it can feel like work just to listen to a podcast or watch a youtube video that you KNOW is going to direct you in the right direction because that means you’re going to feel the energy to move. To step up. It can be scary to step up because it means effort, and it means being uncomfortable.
but there is only one way to a life well lived and it is by being the one in control of your destination. This only happens through self reflection and self actualization.
It can be scary- but it is also beautiful, and eye opening, and I promise that you are not alone and there are so many of us out here just waiting for you to join us in this big thing we call life, with open arms, open eyes, and an open heart.
EDITORS NOTE:
There is a dualistic nature in everything: In wanting to progress our talents, but at the same time wanting to find complacency, to be comfortable with where we are at. You get to balance both of these with gratitude and acceptance, knowing that it is human nature to want to grow, and it is human nature to want to be comfortable. Give yourself grace for all parts of you, both the parts that want to grow, and the parts that want to just chill. Find a balance that allows you to achieve both in a way that is fulfilling.